Melanoma may not be "my" illness but it is my child's enemy and even though he is 27 years old, he will always be "my boy"... my child. On Wednesday after receiving the news of Jay's biopsy results and all day Thursday, I was engulfed with a pain deep inside my heart. No matter what I did, or where I went I could not shake it and was on the verge of tears all day. I spent Wednesday night picking Ian's brains and acquiring as much information from him as possible. I spent most of the day on Thursday refamiliarizing myself with everything that I had  learned previously and learning about some new or improved methods of treatment for this disease. I learned that Sunnybrook is only one of two hospitals in Canada recommended as potential treatment centres by the American Cancer Association giving me a huge sense of relief; just knowing Jay is in good hands.

The next process he has to go through is on Tuesday, November 16th to surgically have the affected lymph node and surrounding tissue and nodes in his groin removed. The key at this point is to remove the melanoma (as much as is possible) from his body. Right now his immune system is being severely challenged as it tries to rid his body of the cancerous cells so the sooner they are removed the sooner his system will recover. In addition to the medical advice he is receiving, he is also seeing a homeopath who will work in conjunction with his conventional care. He and Rachel are now only eating organic foods because his immune system needs all the help it can get and won't tolerate added chemicals or hormones found in commercially raised products. He has "come out" with this disease this time and has found enormous comfort and support from his family, friends and colleagues at work as well as some profound support from his boss, Richard Robbins. Jay, like his father has a powerful, positive attitude, which will carry him through this process better than anything else. And... I am flying back to Ontario on November 15th to do whatever I can to help....and so it is.

Tonight we went out for dinner with Karley and Ian and Karley's friend Kate Knight, her roommate from university and someone we hadn't seen in several years. We had a fun, wonderful visit with Kate (as hilarious as ever) before attending a Yuk Yuk's Comedy show that Rick had bought tickets for weeks ago. It was exactly what we needed to lighten our hearts and for me to "regroup" my thoughts to a more rational place. You know what they say...Laughter is the best medicine!

As a Mom, I am required to be centred, grounded and "there" for my child and it is times like this when I have never taken that role more seriously. This is an unwelcome side trip to the "journey" we have embarked on but together as a family, we will rally around Jay and give him the love and spiritual strength he needs to defeat this.