My role here with Jay and Rachel has been one of domestic diva and Mom and it's one I haven't played for a while. Daily, besides cooking meals and helping with laundry, I am enjoying lengthy discussions with Jay about life and spirituality. At the risk of becoming repetitive, I am amazed by his wisdom and feel as if I am conversing with someone much older than 27. He is insightful, humorous, braver than most people I know, kind-hearted and is a store full of incredible information. I love his patience and his ability to make everyone he speaks to feel comfortable. And I have always admired his lack of criticism and his way of only seeing the best in everyone. These traits are why he has so many friends and I find myself wondering where it all came from. I'm sure it wasn't from me because through him I am trying to learn his ways and with practice, hopefully I can. He truly has become my teacher.

Today, Jay spent a couple of hours researching treatment options and options on the Internet while I cooked up an organic dinner. When he emerged from his office, he was lower in spirits than I have seen him since I arrived. It made me wonder if he was better off before he learned so much about his disease because at least before he had a more optimistic attitude. However, Jay is the one with the cancer, he needs this information and I cannot make any decisions for him about how he wants to approach it. I can only be a sounding board, careful to keep my opinions to myself but open enough to be able to carry on a conversation with him. If he were a young child, the decisions would be mine alone but that is not the case anymore. Five years ago, he handled the cancer differently, treating it like a wart and moving on as fast as he could but this time he is an informed adult and wants to treat the cause not just the symptom.

His approach may seem unorthodox and risky to many but I support his decision no matter what. Jay is following his heart and based on what I have seen these past few days, I know it will lead him where he needs to go. I trust his decisions and as his Mom, I believe in him 100%. My son is no longer a child but an intelligent, spiritual man and my role here is merely to love him, which I do with all my heart. No mother could be prouder of her child than I am of mine right now.