When Jim died in 1993, Karley was 18; Jay 16 and Jamie 14 and we all handled the grieving process in our own way. At one point I sought outside counselling for my family however it was not well received by my teenage boys and we only went once. I felt that we all retreated to different corners but Karley and I developed a type of alliance allowing ourselves to show our emotions openly to each other while the boys grieved alone. Prior to Jim's death, the boys seemed to be constantly fighting however after it, they became close and very protective of each other. Jay and I seemed to drift apart and I found myself angry with his (what seemed to be) "indifference" and lack of emotion. We argued a lot. One day, about six months later, after a particularly bad argument while driving him to school, in a moment of rage, I slapped his face and told him to "move out". I went home and wept at my behaviour and for our deteriorating relationship and I wrote him a letter expressing my feelings while asking for his forgiveness. I left it in his room knowing he would read it later.

That evening when he returned home, he indeed read my letter and we talked like we had never talked before. That was the day I learned about who Jay really was and we became good friends. It was like a huge wall had been literally knocked down and I had found this sensitive, funny, very loving man-child behind it. His sense of humour was a quality I never understood before and that night I learned how wonderful it really was.

At Richard Robbins International, where Jay works, he is dedicated, hardworking and enthusiastic. It is common for him to work 12 and 14-hour days and his colleagues are inspired by his focus and work ethics. They have a nickname that they have given him, "Jaybot" for his tirelessness and his rigidity. When his cancer was first discovered this time, Jay's terminology for it has been "Jaybot malfunction" and he refers to his leg with its 10-inch scar as his "Franken-leg". His sense of humour has endeared so many people to him and it never fails him. It served him well while he grieved for his father and it is a huge part of his recovery process, putting all of those who love him at ease. They say laughter is the best medicine and Jay is proof positive of its value.